Wrestling

                       Wrestling

Wrestle in that place of incongruence,
Between good and evil and what "it" means.
My heart is good,
Yet action don't always match.

The warring of what that "means,"
About who I am.
Black and white thinking,
All good or all bad.

Interpretations and where I take them,
Choices about cycles that find self in.
Not about stopping or controlling cycles,
It's about which cycle.

Moment where choose healthy,
Moment where choose unhealthy.
Neither defines who I am or my heart,
Just expression of inner struggle

How did it get so convoluted?
Attaching value and worth to actions and performance.
Instead of attaching value and worth of who I am with self, God, and others.
That inner place where get stuck playing the event over and over.

The Ground Hog Day moments relived over and over.
Replay it until reconciled in being that just because action doesn't define me.
It doesn't define my heart.

I am more than a performance or action.
I am human, a person, a man.
I sin, fail, make wrong choices.
I am good, do right, succeed and make right choices.

I am not defined by either sin or good.
My heart is good and right with God.
I am an expression of who I Am created me to be.
Loving, caring, passionate, strong, weak, dependent, independent, attached, and connected.

About the Author:  Brian Bucks lives on a small horse ranch in Western Nebraska and is a husband, father, electrical engineer, and poet.